


When I Was A child

by Ceridawn



Series: Plucking Threads [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Gen, caleb is happy, he got everything he wanted, he has to be happy, why wouldn't he be
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-09-18 12:28:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16995009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceridawn/pseuds/Ceridawn
Summary: Pulling the card, Caleb chose to change a point far back. Very far back.





	1. Adjusting

**Author's Note:**

> A collection of small drabbles, set in a universe where Caleb went back to a time when he was 9 after pulling a card from the Deck.

Caleb opens his eyes again. He stares at the hand that drew the card. A simple thing, one that changed so much. He almost hadn't done it. Caleb knew regrets, knew them well, but he thinks that might be the worst almost he has ever had. Had ever had, now. Or maybe not. That one almost made all of his other big regrets into almosts as well.

"Caleb, time to come in for dinner!" Caleb carefully let the magic fall, magic he had been careful to hide for these past few days. It wouldn't do for anyone to know that he had it, not a farmer's son who had never seen a spellbook in his life. There would be no way to explain, except for perhaps claiming to be a sorcerer. And even that wouldn't hold up for long, not when he didn't learn like one.

The first day back, he had snuck away to test his magic. It was weaker that it was (would be), but his mind had not failed him. He still remembered his spells, even if he could now cast only the weakest of them properly. He would have to be careful, but he was still a wizard.

(Useless without a party.)

Best not to keep Mother waiting. He knew he had worried her. He might be a good liar, but he wasn't a good enough one to act exactly like his nine year old self at all times. (He didn't let himself think about why exactly he picked that number, when any before he went to the academy would have worked.) It had been too long since he had been carefree for him to convincingly act that way. In short amounts, yes. But not in a way that could fool people who knew the boy he had once been. 

Perhaps worse, there were things he should know that he didn't. If there was one thing Caleb relied on, it was his own mind. But he couldn't remember everything perfectly, not this many years later. Every little thing he relearned about his parents was wonderful and horrible. What kind of son was he, to have forgotten these things. (How long before he forgot the exact sound of Nott's voice?)

Hiding the nightmares was hard, his jumpiness even harder. He wasn't sure how much longer they would believe that it was simply because he and some of the others had had a contest to frighten each other. He would have to try harder to make himself relax again, to learn once more to not be hunted and constantly on-guard. (But a lone wizard was a dead wizard. No rogue to guard his back, no cleric to keep him alive. No one with dark vision, to watch in the night.)

Still, as he walked inside and wrapped his arms around his mother for a quick hug (It felt alien, reaching up instead of down.), this was worth it. He was here, in a kitchen that never saw fire outside of the stove. He was hugging a mother that never burned. Father would be home soon as well and they would all eat together.

Despite the difficulties, it was worth it. (It had to be.)


	2. The Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The card requires a choice.

Caleb knew, the second he picked the card, that he had to pick a moment. A decision. Everything that would come after was on him, the magic would just get him to one event. And it had to go differently, or nothing would happen at all. 

There were a lot of moments in his life he wanted to change. (Fire, insanity. Trust, wrongly placed.) However, none of them were far enough back. The moments that made him, he wanted them all gone. To do so completely, he needed to go further. Back before anything even started.

So he sent his mind back, to times even he struggled to recall in perfect detail. When he was so much smaller, so much freer. (When he didn't know how little he was really worth.) He needed something that stuck in his mind well enough to remember it.

So he chose something important. He remembered well, the day he got his cat. (His first cat.) There was a whole litter and his parents has agreed that it might not be a bad idea to have one, to help with mice. And to be a little thing to help him learn.

He had been so excited.

~~~~~~~~~~

Caleb pulled eagerly on his momma's hand, tugging her forward as he rushed over to where the kittens were laying with their mother. They were going to bring one home, and it was going to be his kitten!

Looking at the pile of squirming bodies, he reached out to scratch one on the ear. It was a cute bengal, with very soft fur. It meowed, arching to rub against his hand as he petted it. What a nice kitten it was.

He was just about to pick it up to show momma when he saw a bit of black out of the corner of his eye. Tilting his head, he saw a much smaller kitten that was huddled off to the side. Pulling his hands away from the bengal, he instead picked up the lonely little black one.

"This one!"

"Oh? Are you sure?"

"Ja."

Caleb sent one last glance at Frumpkin (Not anymore and never was) before clutching the black cat to his chest as he returned to his mother's side.


	3. Victory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is That Night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have jumped ahead several years here. Thing should start getting more interesting soon. Promise.

It had taken a lot, making sure they were gone today. Explaining why he was sure this would be a good week to take things to the market to sell. Convincing (manipulating) his parents to make sure mother came with instead of staying at home like normal. But Caleb was a good liar, skilled at getting what he wanted. (He had to be.) And so they were away from Blumenthal, sharing a single room in a cheap inn. Tomorrow they would start the journey back home.

He wished he knew more about what they would find. But even now that night (tonight) was a blur. He didn't know if Trent (Astrid, Eodwulf) had done anything to the rest of the town. Covered their tracks some how. Being there was too great a risk, when things were about to finally be fixed. No, better to make sure they were far away from what was happening in Blumenthal tonight.

But that didn't calm the anxiety beneath his skin. Tonight was the night it was supposed to happen. He has fighting here, against what forces he didn't know. Maybe none. Hopefully none, though the gods hated him too much for that. (He always had enemies. He deserved them, anyone who knew him for what he was should be his enemy.) So he laid awake, keeping watch. It had been so long since he kept watch, but it still came easily. (Keeping watch alone was lonely.) Doing it was no problem, he could easily make it to sunrise.

Especially with the way arcane energy was coursing through him, an instinctive reaction to his nervousness he couldn't quite stop. He stopped the fire though, refusing to let flames dance across his fingertips tonight of all nights. 

(He made sure, earlier. That there was not a single lit flame in the entire inn.)

Just one more night. One more night, and he could rest. He could beat the Matron of Ravens, cheat fate and time. Tonight proved it. Completely. He had succeeded.

(He carefully didn't think about the voices that weren't there to congratulate him.)


End file.
